Secrets + Shame + Intimacy
Light House Lady,
If you only knew.
We all walk around looking pretty normal on the outside. (What does normal look like even?) But we do. We don't wear visible labels like Liar, Cheater, Mental Case, Over-Spender, Bankrupted, Abuser, Victim, Jealous, Angry, Anxious, Beaten-Down, Molested, Forgotten, Alone…
We sure experience these things and they can even become our identity if we revel in them too long. These tend to be hidden because we fear judgment- and it's true that some will judge and be ugly and act holier than thou because that's their issue to deal with and work through. So shame sets in. And we hunker down beneath our label, deeper still.
Find someone you trust and be brave enough to share. Sharing allows light to shine and shame dissipates. When someone knows your secrets and loves you still- that is intimacy. Intimacy is into-me-see. Letting people know the real you, the faults, failures, or shortcomings is intimacy. That level of acceptance, in spite of your less pleasant parts, is actual Love. When we commit to people, to being in their lives and in their corner no matter what-- that's Love.
If you know me and really know me, then you know I am highly imperfect. not just socially acceptable imperfect but actually like- Ohhhh, I'm not sure we can be friends, imperfect. It's ok. I have 3 good friends I could call and tell them anything I've done, said, or felt and they would love me still. Find your people, darling, because they are out there.